Citizen's Economics

A lot has been going on in the past few weeks, and it's hard to even know where to start. First, I'll start with the job status. Without jinxing myself too much, there is very possibly something in the works that will keep me at OL for the long term. I am both excited and terrified. I didn't necessarily want to stay in DC long term, and I definitely don't want to be away from Babe indefinitely. But, as I'll mention in more detail below, we are both learning so much about ourselves being here and working and gaining experience, that we are for the first time really feeling challenged, and happy, and engaged in what is happening in the world around us, and as a result we are feeling even closer to each other and motivated to keep striving for large goals than ever. I am hoping that things work out for me to keep working here. I like the work, and even better like how it makes me feel about myself, my qualifications, and about my future. Babe and I are a team, a force to be reckoned with I feel, working our butts off to be contributing members of society, and to be happy together doing it. I am beginning to realize that a few months apart here or there isn't going to change that.

Having said all that, it is a very interesting time to be in DC, and to have an awareness of what is happening in our country. I started this blog to discuss my frustrations with the job market, and after spending time on Capitol Hill and watching Congress duke it out over the debt ceiling, I am more convinced than ever that there are some very serious complexities to all of this that are worth trying to understand, because it ties into why employment is the way it is right now, which effects my life directly on a daily basis. What is more, Babe and I are becoming more and more aware of what aspects of these complexities interest us. We are both first and foremost scientists, yes, but science is so much more integrated than that. I am learning I have an appreciation for the sociological aspects, how people understand issues such as climate change, how it impacts them, their decisions, etc. Babe is making a very strong effort to get educated, ask questions, and understand the economics behind what is going on in this country right now, how economics relates to science and vice versa. The product of that effort is a new blog: www.citizenseconomics.blogspot.com. It's good stuff, and if you are interested, I encourage you to stop on by.

This post does very little justice to what is going on right now, but i'm out the door to enjoy a weekend of absolutely nothing. I promise I'll write more later....

Hope you are all well!

Should I stay or should I go?

Hey there, I was just going back through some of my old posts before I left and thought I'd post an update. Things are going well. Next weekend is already the 4th of July! I knew it would go quick. I'm liking my job, and it keeps me very busy, which is really all you can ever ask for right? I absolutely hate being bored at work. I'd do pretty much anything, probably, as long as it kept me occupied. My schedule is pretty consistent, and now that we are in a little bit of a routine, things are moving right along. I usually am up at 7, which really isn't bad, out the door at 8:15 and into work between 8:30 and 8:45. I typically work until about 5 or 5:30 and then have been going to the gym at night. Since it's right downstairs, it's really convenient. On Wednesdays my roommates sail, so Babe and I hang out. And we spend the weekends together. As of right now, we've been doing one night at his house and one at mine, but over the holiday my roommates will be gone with the dogs, so we will definitely be staying here.

Having other people around all the time has definitely changed a lot for us. We are definitely out of our element and at the mercy of what every one else has going on. But there's nothing else to be done either, so i'm just going with it. trying not to think of it like we are moving backward, though it does feel very college-y at times and it makes me miss my apartment at home and our own little world there.

We've been trying to stay busy on the weekends just to have some alone time, and so far i feel like we've seen a lot! I really like it here. And i like what I'm doing. And now i'm not sure what is going to happen because of it. I feel like i need to stay here to keep working and getting experience. I got an email from Katie the other day that things at the Villa are hitting the fan with the staff, and it reminded me of the immaturity there that I didn't like so much. But if i don't go home, Babe and I will be apart indefinitely and I'm not sure if that's the right thing either. It's sort of a wait and see situation right now. The weeks are flying by and after this one i only have 8 weeks left. big decisions will have to be made, especially if I get offered something. I knew i'd have to face this eventually, but i didn't expect to feel so strongly about NOT going back to Milwaukee. Babe keeps talking about missing it, and while I do too if I think about it, I don't like the fact that there isn't much for me to do there work-wise. I want to be here for the opportunities. But that will probably mean I have to be here alone.

First Week on My Own

Well, here it is Monday of the first week I am officially all on my own. I miss Christine, the intern before me, already. If for no other reason that she was a really great person! She is going off the become a professor and I wish her well. But I will miss her here.

Things are going well. I finally feel settled here. Last week was a conference basically all day Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday on the Hill, and I kept thinking how nice is was to be absorbed into this community of people who think like I do and care about what I care about. Friday was a crash course in everything else office wise, and then I set off for the weekend. I have weekends! Can you believe it? I can't. So awesome.

Friday I went out to dinner with my aunt and uncle. I don't really want to dwell on it too much, other than to say it was interesting and good to see them. My aunt is unhappy with the location I am living in, but after a week at the house I know there is nothing to worry about. I actually really love the location. And I looove Bobby and Holly for their kindness and hospitality. Saturday Babe can over and we watched True Blood and relaxed until we ventured to Alexandria to see Carrie and Heather and Paul, and Carrie's brother Eric. It was a trip getting there! But we made it and had an amazing time! Sooo good to be in their company again. I cant wait to spend more time with them.

Sunday was pretty lazy too. We went to a Smithsonian to see the portraits and Fro-Yo for frozen yogurt (amazing) and grocery shopped, and that's about it. The temperature today is very comfortable, in the 80's and the walk to work this morning was very nice. My first day on my own is moving a long quickly and I feel good about it. Hoping to get into the gym downstairs today or tomorrow.

Overall, it is going well. The adjustment was difficult, but I feel like I'm getting there now. I'm happy, and happy to be here. I'd say that's a pretty good start.

They're Always Watching

Well, here I am, first day of the new internship out of the way. As far as first days go, it was about what I had expected. Completely and utterly overwhelming. There were a few other surprises thrown in there too, but more on that in a minute...

The weekend (Friday and Saturday) was amazing. Packing was a pain, and getting everything to DC and through DC to the hotel was a pain. But once we got to the hotel, it was amazing. I love this man I have let me tell you. In the past three days, he has blown me away with his thoughtfulness, patience and understanding. He had an evening and following day all planned out, and we had a blast spoiling ourselves with good food, wandering around, and relaxing in the hotel.

On Sunday, reality hit. I got to the house I am living in and the neighborhood worried me. The we took the metro all over creation, and that was insane. The amount of people, and the pace at which they move, is a lot to get used to. I cried silently while waiting for the metro to go to Target, while Babe held me tight and told me it would be ok. What am I doing here? I kept asking myself. We dropped off the Target stuff, and picked up a little food for me, found my work, and then set up everything in my room. By that time we could barely move we were so exhausted. But Babe stuck by me the whole day, encouraging me.

I barely slept last night. But I made it to work before 9 and the real fun began. The environment is extremely professional, more so than I have EVER worked in, but everyone was very nice and helpful. My bosses boss made a comment about me only being here for my boyfriend, which surprised me because I had no idea how he knew Babe was here...and he responded that "we are always watching". I felt uncomfortable. But also like I don't want to apologize for who I am and what is important to me. I've been this route before, and it's ok. I learned a lesson. I will be strictly professional from here on out.

I'm on the fence about how I feel about what I'll be doing. I miss the flexibility of home, and the people and knowing what I was doing. And I knew I would. But I also knew I wouldn't rest until I did something like this. Now I will always know if I don't like this path, that I tried it and I made an informed decision about staying put for a while. Who knows how I'll feel in a few months. I just keep reminding myself that it's hard and not ideal, but it will be for a good reason in the end, no matter what that turns out to be. My mom is AMAZING every time I do something like this, and I literally do not know what I would do without Babe. He said the other day that he feels like we are changing, growing. It makes me a little nervous actually, because change is always a little scary. But we are in this together. No matter what happens here this summer, he and I are in this together and I am happy to at least be able to share a small part in his experience here, and gain a bit of my own too.

Almost ready to go

So I'm two days away from heading off to DC, and it's been a little crazy but I finally feel like I have it under control now that I am in the home stretch. The staff training is really what got me, honestly, worrying about getting everyone off to a good start. But now I'm at the point where I have to relinquish control, because I have to turn my attention to doing the best job I can in DC.

I'm finally starting to make plans to see people and do things out in DC and I'm getting really excited as I realize I'm actually moving! My cousin lives in DC with her family, as well as my aunt and uncle, and I'm looking forward to spending some time with them. My cousin and her husband just adopted a baby girl, and I must say she is adorable. I can't wait to meet her! They also have a 7 year old son who I have never met either, so it will be awesome to meet him too!

Here she is, looking adorable.

Some friends out in DC have already planned a dinner for all of us to get together next weekend, and I'm looking forward to seeing them all. Babe has been throwing out all kinds of things to do this weekend and I'm excited to spend some time with him getting situated and doing some site seeing. I'll be sure to keep you in the loop!

Add in a little fun

So I just wrote yesterday about being a little stressed. This morning, I woke up early even though I had the longest day ever yesterday, followed by a long day today, to do a little yoga. I have always wanted to be that person that gets a good workout in at like 5 am before going to work, and still manages to get out of the house looking fabulous. You know, like they do in the movies. (Is it just me or does it ever seem like mornings in movies go on forever?) I was happy with my accomplishment, and while I rushed a little to get to work, I figured trying out a new routine as I transition into a new job could help make this distant dream more of a reality....

ANYWHO, I checked my email today and got a message from my new boss in DC about Capitol Hill Ocean Week, which just so happens to be the first week I am out there. Babe had mentioned it a few months ago, and now I'm the one that will actually be going. Small world huh? The agenda looks interesting, and overwhelming at the same time. I'm worried about not remembering ANY science whatsoever, and it looks like I'll have to dive off into the deep end whether I wanted to or not.

While I'm excited, I'm also terrified. What if I have no idea where to go and what's going on? What if everyone is waaaay smarter than me? And most importantly, what do I wear!!?? (I know I know, this is ridiculous, please bare with me.) A lot of peoples' blogs I like to follow talk about their daily lives: meals and eating habits, exercise, and also about clothes. A few have made 30 day challenges in which you pick a certain number of items of clothing, and only select outfits from that group for the whole month, and then show pictures of how you wore those items in different ways. And it just occurred to me that while I was worried about what to wear to look professional on Capitol Hill, that I am essentially going to be doing this exact same thing out of necessity since I'm only packing a suitcase. So why not have fun with it?! And maybe even blog about it!

I haven't thought much about clothing, and the only thing I bought was two new pairs of shoes because I honestly don't have the money, and I wouldn't know what to look for yet. I want to wait and see what people are wearing when I get there. But in an effort to pack light I want to be selective about what I do pack, so maybe I'll post about it before I go and then keep you updated on how things come together from there!

Stress

I've been pretty stressed out. But it's weird because I don't usually feel stressed out, like oh my god, my head is going to explode any minute! When I get stressed out, my body goes hay-wire. EVERYTHING upsets my stomach, and I feel nauseous all.the.time. (I'm sorry I know that's TMI.) I am awake during the day with no problem, but I can't get myself to wake up in the morning. A few days ago I wanted to burst into tears for no reason.

I've been so busy at work the past month that I literally have no clue what day it is. There is no consistency to my schedule, and it changes all the time. Even, like today, on the day of. I feel guilty when I eat crap, or don't work out, but my work is so crazy that I don't have time and I eat whatever I can, and then I feel worse. I worry about money all the time, to the point that I feel guilty when I have to buy groceries. To eat. To LIVE. How ridiculous is that? After Heather decided not to sublet from us, I almost decided not to go to DC, which I have to do for myself and my career, but I was so worried about not being able to afford it that I honestly considered not going. And I was pissed that her last minute decision made me feel that way. I'm worried about leaving the familiarity here and starting something new. I'm afraid I won't know or remember anything.

I'm also worried about coming back here after the fact. Everyone keeps telling me there's no way I'm coming back, but I refuse to hear it because what if that doesn't happen? Then I'm a disappointment because I didn't get anything out there permanent. And there was a brand new hire at work today that wants to take over my work (she literally walked right up to me and made it very clear within minutes of meeting me), and I couldn't help but panic a little that maybe I won't get to keep my responsibilities after all. I can't bare the thought of moving backward. And I don't want to come back here just to do the same damn thing and make no money. But what else is there to do here for me?

I can't remember what about life is carefree and fun. But I'm not in so deep that I can't tell that I worry needlessly sometimes and that I want to put all my worries aside and enjoy things again. I'm hoping this summer brings some of that back. Babe and I will be in a new city together, getting to explore things neither of us have ever seen or done. And we'll both have weekends free. Whole weekends!! Can you imagine?! There may not necessarily be more consistency, but it will be new and different, and hopefully with a little effort, I can enjoy it and relax and realize that things are actually ok.