They're Always Watching

Well, here I am, first day of the new internship out of the way. As far as first days go, it was about what I had expected. Completely and utterly overwhelming. There were a few other surprises thrown in there too, but more on that in a minute...

The weekend (Friday and Saturday) was amazing. Packing was a pain, and getting everything to DC and through DC to the hotel was a pain. But once we got to the hotel, it was amazing. I love this man I have let me tell you. In the past three days, he has blown me away with his thoughtfulness, patience and understanding. He had an evening and following day all planned out, and we had a blast spoiling ourselves with good food, wandering around, and relaxing in the hotel.

On Sunday, reality hit. I got to the house I am living in and the neighborhood worried me. The we took the metro all over creation, and that was insane. The amount of people, and the pace at which they move, is a lot to get used to. I cried silently while waiting for the metro to go to Target, while Babe held me tight and told me it would be ok. What am I doing here? I kept asking myself. We dropped off the Target stuff, and picked up a little food for me, found my work, and then set up everything in my room. By that time we could barely move we were so exhausted. But Babe stuck by me the whole day, encouraging me.

I barely slept last night. But I made it to work before 9 and the real fun began. The environment is extremely professional, more so than I have EVER worked in, but everyone was very nice and helpful. My bosses boss made a comment about me only being here for my boyfriend, which surprised me because I had no idea how he knew Babe was here...and he responded that "we are always watching". I felt uncomfortable. But also like I don't want to apologize for who I am and what is important to me. I've been this route before, and it's ok. I learned a lesson. I will be strictly professional from here on out.

I'm on the fence about how I feel about what I'll be doing. I miss the flexibility of home, and the people and knowing what I was doing. And I knew I would. But I also knew I wouldn't rest until I did something like this. Now I will always know if I don't like this path, that I tried it and I made an informed decision about staying put for a while. Who knows how I'll feel in a few months. I just keep reminding myself that it's hard and not ideal, but it will be for a good reason in the end, no matter what that turns out to be. My mom is AMAZING every time I do something like this, and I literally do not know what I would do without Babe. He said the other day that he feels like we are changing, growing. It makes me a little nervous actually, because change is always a little scary. But we are in this together. No matter what happens here this summer, he and I are in this together and I am happy to at least be able to share a small part in his experience here, and gain a bit of my own too.