I got the job

I got a phone call yesterday offering me a permanent position at Ocean Leadership. And I am ashamed to say I don't know if I want to accept it. I have been struggling for the past two and a half months with this decision. Having to choose between the comforts of home and family but not really working in the field I have worked so hard to find a place in, and staying in DC where I can do really interesting work, but have to leave behind everything else I want right now too, like stability, not being in a long distance relationship, a puppy (!), being close to my parents (relatively), cheaper rent, etc etc. Really I just don't want to be alone. Why does it have to be so either or with me? And Babe is so set in what he wants to do that I feel I am having to make a decision between us being together and us not. Which is ultimately more important? Having a job that I like working in a great organization with good people, but being alone, and not being alone but working hourly for an organization unrelated to my interests?

Logically I can't say no. How would I even justify that? Turning down a job with great benefits in this economy would be insane. So I'll do it because it is the smart thing to do. And it will probably be the right decision in the end. But having to change my frame of mind to drastically having worked so hard to keep this relationship going, only to at 27 years old be living apart, totally different lives for who knows how many years seems like the kiss of death for us. I really don't want to live like that. it seems too....I don't even know what. hard? is it even worth it?