And so it begins

About an hour ago I dropped Babe off at the airport to send him off to DC. I am now at work (thank god I have a busy week), and am actually feeling pretty ok. There were a lot of tears in the past few days, which I expected, but I am trying really hard not to focus on the enormity of what we are currently facing and trying to take it day by day. He plans to come home at the end of February, and kept telling me at the airport, “it’s only a few weeks, that’s nothing. I’ll be home before you know it.”

I have spent a lot of time the past couple of months facing my anxieties and learning about what Babe and I now call my inner gremlin (who is a totally ass). I can’t actually take credit for the idea, it is actually a book that Babe’s dad passed down to him, that he has now passed on to me. A very dear coworker of mine also gave me a book called “The Secret”, which at first I thought was going to be kind of lame, but now half way through it, I am really enjoying. Both of these books focus on recognizing your anxieties, putting a face to them (your gremlin) and then realizing that your anxieties are not who you are and cannot define how you relate to the real world. The Secret especially talks about the power of positive thinking, which is something I have been wanting to work on. While I know this year apart will be hard, I think it could be made a lot easier on myself if I just allow myself to relax and not worry so much. The messages in both of these books have been helping me feel like I have control over myself and my emotions and that is helping immensely. Putting this into practice will be challenging, but I really am going to try and hope in the end that I will surprise myself. This year is about regaining control and feeling better about myself and I am motivated to work as hard as I can on that. By the time Babe gets back, I think we will both have grown a lot into strong, independent adults who are ready to take the next steps in life, together, in a solid and fulfilling relationship.

I also have a lot of things to look forward to in the next couple of weeks. My friends here have been amazing and supportive and fun and I am looking forward to spending more time with them. My best friend Becky is coming this weekend to help me celebrate my 26th birthday, and I think a good old fashioned girls weekend is just what I need. In the middle of February, I am going home to spend some time with my family, which I am really looking forward to as well. I also continue to work on the house, and am working to make my bedroom as soothing as possible, especially because night-time is when my gremlin typically rears its ugly head.

All for now, I should get back to work, but I promise to keep you all posted on everything!